Innocence
by 4810
Summary: Some things can't be gotten back. Angsty ficlet focusing on Kazuki and Juubei, and their early days in the Limitless Fortress. Oneshot.


A fic spawned because of the way that Kazuki has been acting in the manga recently. Manga based (Though this is probably incorrect in parts. Please help me fix it), since Kazuki's clan is killed when he's ten years old in the manga. He seems a lot older in the anime.

And oh my god, Himiko and Ban _ARE_ related! What exactly are the manga-ka _on_ anyway?

* * *

_Kazuki is hurting._

Juubei is not with him, but he knows Kazuki is hurting. He doesn't need to be with him to feel it.

It's raining; raining heavily, in big, cold droplets that shatter and splash upon impact with the freezing cement. But even the heaviest rainstorm isn't enough to wash away the filth of the limitless fortress. The filth that _is _the limitless fortress. Kazuki and Juubei have only been here for two and a half months. For seventy six days. It feels more like a thousand. Seventy six of the most painful days of their lives. Upon arrival, they'd caught glimpses empty-eyed children; children who were far younger than them, and yet seemed far older. Now, Juubei can see the signs of that early aging in Kazuki.

He can feel it within himself.

He's only eleven, but somehow feels at least sixteen. Like he's aged five years in a mere eleven weeks.

Children don't survive here, in the limitless fortress. They grow up, or they die. The monsters in this castle don't show mercy to the weak. They scorn it. They hate it. They destroy it. Juubei and Sakura have been trying to shield Kazuki from them, trying their best to preserve the childish purity that Juubei loves so much.

Kazuki had cried during the first night they'd spent here. He hasn't cried since. Not during the moments when he lies awake, cuddled in-between Sakura and Juubei, unable to close his eyes. Not during the nights when he finally does fall into slumber... although those nights have been becoming more frequent as the time rolls by... Juubei had thought that maybe Kazuki would cry more.

The rain is falling at a faster pace now, pummeling the top of Juubei's head. His skin is beginning to go numb, but he pays no mind to it, the same way he pays no mind to the burning of his lungs or the aching of his legs. Juubei has been running all day, panicking blindly at the absence of the boy he has deemed more important than life itself. And now he fears that he has not been diligent enough.

_Kazuki... is still in pain._

As he continues to stumble through the debris scattered all over this unending hell, Juubei prays that Kazuki is not dying. If he has failed, then he... then he...

But if Kazuki was dying, he would know. If Kazuki were to die, something inside Juubei would die along with him. He would feel it. But still, he continues to run; continues to sprint, as creatures leer at him from dark cracks and shadowy corners, trying to trip him on his way. Clawing at his ankles, scratching at his legs. He pays them no mind either.

Kazuki is still gentle. Still kind. But there's a certain stoniness to him that had never been there before; a metallic coldness that has stolen and hidden away his youthful innocence. An innocence that Juubei had believed would last for his entire life. He had believed that somewhere inside, Kazuki would remain a child forever. Maybe it had been a silly fantasy, but he'd never know now.

The rain lashes at his skin, cutting him with it's freezing fingers, digging it's cold nails into his soft flesh. But now Juubei can feel that he's getting closer to his thread-spinner, and nothing else matters. His pace increases and he sprints and sprints and stumbles and sprints through debris and glass and puddles. And abruptly, he stops. His heavy breathing ceases. He stares, not daring to move.

Kazuki stands only meters away from him, alive. Kazuki is covered is blood, but Kazuki is alive.

Before him, a battered corpse lies, still warm, still fresh. Juubei ignores it, only having eyes for his blood-spattered flower. He holds a miraculously clean bell between his fingertips, staring at the motionless body before him.

Kazuki's eyes are oddly empty, oddly devoid of anything but disbelief, and now he's staring at his hands. They're fairly clean, only covered in a light spray of red liquid. Even from where he stands, Juubei can tell that the blood isn't Kazuki's. There isn't a single wound upon the skin of the graceful boy.

Their eyes meet. Kazuki's mouth moves, but no sound comes out. For a while, the only sound is that of the rain, thankfully slowing from a torrential pour to a heavy shower.

Even the rapidly falling droplets aren't enough wash away the red splashes covering Kazuki's face and hands and body. His lips quiver and open but, yet again, no words are formed. His bell topples from his fingers, ringing sharply in the silence as it connects with the concrete. The sound breaks Juubei from a trance he can't even remember entering and he side-steps the body lying between him and his prince. He moves hesitantly, in stark contrast to before, until he's near enough to close Kazuki in an embrace. Kazuki falls against him, smearing the both of them with the blood of a stranger. Juubei doesn't care, willing to do anything to comfort, willing to do anything to console the shaking body in his arms.

"Juu... Juubei... Juubei, I..." The flower's voice is desperate, becoming more so with every syllable. He sounds empty and hopeless and scared; as confused as Juubei feels. "I killed..." His voice cracks, and he digs his fingers into his protector's shoulders, so deeply that it hurts. But Juubei knows that the pain is worth it and does nothing. "I... I'm a..."

Juubei wants to say something, but he can't speak. Instead, he increases the fierceness of their hug. Kazuki responds, pressing so tightly against him that Juubei can feel his ribs.

He should have been here before, and then this never would have happened. He would gladly kill for Kazuki, to save his life, to save him this pain. He should have been here. He should never have let him be alone. Not before, not even for a split second.

The two children stand there like that for a while longer, unsure of what to do. Kazuki shivers and shakes, murmurs hysterically, but doesn't cry.

He doesn't cry. Juubei wishes he would.

Around them, the rain continues to fall.


End file.
